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You have questions? We have opinions.

I wish we had more time. More time to enjoy this magical season. More time to enjoy relevant football. But especially more time to enjoy the seniors who will be playing their last game at Jack Trice on Saturday. They ALL deserve endless praise for the sacrifice and work they have put in to experience this special season, but the Box is gonna spend a few sentences on just three of them.

First, Kyle Kempt. Everyone knows his story, bounced around until finally settling in Ames because of Coach Campbell. His steady hand have just what we’ve needed in support of this defense being #ELITE. He is a legend for not even playing one season. Bravo.

The other two, are of course Joel Lanning and Allen Lazard, AKA Al Catchino. Joel came in as a bruising running quarterback with promise but without coaches with a good plan for him, and in turn struggled to succeed in the Big 12. He made the ultimate team move and moved to LINEBACKER which led to Mr. Kempt getting his opportunity to become legendary while also cementing his own. Oh and he’s good at that whole linebacker thing too.

Finally, Mr. Catchino. I know the Box and others, honestly felt bad for him. He could have went to almost any school in the country and had national success and acclaim. But he chose to make it his goal to turn around the shitty football program he loves. He did that. Joel did that. Kyle did that. All the seniors did that.

Cherish them.

Okay that’s enough puff-piece for now, time to make an ass of myself. BOX GO!

Of course the Box knows this, JER. The Box is all knowing. Did YOU know you could also spell the following words with just the letters in Oklahoma State AND still describe Mike Gundy?

  • HOT
  • MALE
  • ALE

If you were playing along at home, the Box grants bonus points for ALASKA. I bet Gundy has shot a bear or something but the Box could not confirm.

The Box doesn’t miss 3sus since 3sus is always with me. He is always with you. He is always with ALL of us. His physical presence of cashing three’s in suckers face may not be apparent to non-believers amongst us now, but His essence flows through all of #cyclONEnation. Keep 3sus in your heart and mind and the second coming will soon reveal Himself.

Yes. I love Iowa State sports as much as the next guy, but I’m not going to a meaningless exhibition game unless they came with my season tickets/were free AND I was in the Ames area. We can make up the $100 for Campbell another time.

That’s easy. Skip is old, broken down Take Machine who malfunctions all the with inaccurate info and outbursts. If he’s not careful, people may start to catch on to his schtick! Being the all-knowing Hotbox, you trust my Takes. My Takes are always correct because my info is perfect and I am completely infallible.

Now on the other hand, shooting in college basketball has been pretty shitty. Case and point, Virginia, who routinely assaults my eyeballs every winter. We have just been spoiled with a one of the best offenses and in turn, good shooting. It may be uncomfortable for awhile, but we will evolve into something different and exciting...eventually.

Win out and we’re pretty much in. This is assuming that the winner of TCU/OU then wins the rest of its games. ISU would then hold the tiebreaker over the loser of TCU/OU and play whoever ended up winning out.

Of course, now that the Box laid this out, it will be utter chaos and WVU will find a way in. The Big 12 trips on their dick yet again.

Bythe was not a pro prospect, Al Catchino is. So in that respect, Catchino has it. Catchino will most likely pass a couple of Blythe’s records. AL CATCHINO 4EVA.

What Bythe has is GRIT and DETERMINATION and HEADINESS and TOUGHNESS. Wonder how he ever got those adjectives assigned to him?

I’m pretty sure David lives for contact. He NEEDS it to sustain his life force that he can then punish unsuspecting defensive dweebs with.

But honestly, TRUST THE PROCESS. The Box can privately complain about not going for it on 4th and 5 on the 6 yard line and if you don’t get it you stick them deep in their own territory when they couldn’t move the ball at all in the second half...BUT I’M NOT HERE AIRING MY GRIEVANCES FOR ALL TO SEE LIKE YOU! Ugh being right all the time cab be a burden.

Tubs for sure. This man has enough bags of cash for he and his former recruits until he kicks the bucket. The Box doesn’t normally involuntary scream at his TV with company around, but I found myself doing exactly that when Tubs opened that big dumb hole in his head. I think we all got the sense that he thought Iowa State should just shut down the program because he couldn’t wrap his complex football brain around one thing we were doing.

But yes, the call by the ref was bad. He was never paid anywhere near the amount Tubs was so I may actually feel a shed of pity if he got canned. Oh and Big 12 Refs. We shouldn’t ever be surprised anymore.

Yes, it is true.

He then took your mother to a fancy dinner and she had a LOVELY time. He really can do it all.

Kyle clearly has GRIT and is a HEADY player. But putting him in at either of those positions would result in him tearing all muscle. And I truly mean ALL his muscles.

But if the Box has to choose, the answer is a team with only Kyle Kempt receivers. As a receiver, he may be just tall enough to catch a jump ball or back shoulder pass. If he were to be handed a football and told to run at all those big dudes trying to kill him, they very well may actually kill him. I don’t want Kyle Kempt to die! Throw him the deep ball!!!

Right now? Kane who’s him so damn hard. Kane who’s Wigginton until he can’t be who’d anymore. Kane steals his lunch AND his car and strands his ass in Whoville.

Wigginton is a pretty well put together fella for a freshman. But grown-ass men still have trouble with Kane while he wins every tournament in The Tournament. We would be lucky to see Wigginton grow into, “I’m gonna kick your ever loving ass” Kane type. It would make me feel tough by association.

TAKE ALERT: This take my scald your eyeballs and tear a hole in the Universe. Plz don’t fire me.

F - Miller Lite

M - Busch Light

K - Natty Light

Miller Lite is the BEST of these three, but the price can’t compete with Busch Light. I can have some fun one night stands with Miller Light, but a lifetime of her would kill me.

Busch Light isn’t as good as Miller, but it’s not by a significant margin. The taste is good enough and the price is most certainly right. Now that’s a beer I can wife.

Natty Light is legitimately terrible and I honestly will never buy one again in my lifetime. KILL IT DEAD.

EASY. New Year’s Six Bowl game. My mother is a wildcard and there is no controlling her. Her spirit is free. The cause is lost.

If you have a question for the Hotbox, hit us up on Twitter, Facebook and definitely the comments below.

“The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.”

-Albert Einstein