Following weeks of contract negotiations and necessary legal paperwork, I am finally pleased to reveal the identity of the newest member of the Wide Right & Natty Lite staff: Tomi Lahren. As we alluded to on Twitter earlier in the week, this addition will bring immediate credibility to the site thanks to Ms. Lahren’s universally-respected opinions and crystal-clear reputation.
Lahren was born in Rapid City, South Dakota in 1992, and will fit in quite well with our current team of writers thanks to her Midwestern upbringing. Now a resident of Dallas, Texas, she lives in the heart of Big 12 country and will provide WRNL a “boots on the ground” journalistic approach to conference news in the Lone Star State.
Over the course of the next few months, Lahren will transition into the role of Managing Editor. Holding back a media member of her magnitude from assuming the spot of “top dog” on WRNL’s staff would be a disservice to the integrity of the site, and I am more than happy to relinquish my duties in the name of the greater good.
As many of you are probably aware, today’s announcement comes following a nasty break-up between Lahren and her former employer, The Blaze. In contract negotiations, WRNL promised Lahren an “unfiltered, unedited, and unrestricted soap box” for her to express her opinions. It was the only way she’d agree to join the site. Despite push-back from our attorneys, the WRNL staff came to a unanimous conclusion that Lahren’s positives outweigh her negatives. “What could go wrong?” said current WRNL writer, ClonesJer.
Lahren's ability to be articulate and informative on video will allow WRNL to expand into video content, a need articulated by SB Nation college manager Matt Brown.
“We've all seen Tomi’s videos online before and we know her reach is something that you can't build organically. Her presence will bring 100s of Likes and 10s of Shares to WRNL's Facebook page,” said Brown.
Part of what delayed the announcement of Lahren as the incoming writer was the production of a “sample,” if you will, of what to expect from her and WRNL combining forces. Please enjoy this professionally-assembled lecture featuring Ms. Lahren behind a set made to look exactly like her old one at The Blaze, put together by the top-notch producers in the WRNL studio.
Upon contract approval, Lahren prepared the following statement about why she decided to make WRNL her next endeavor:
“I had stumbled across Wide Right & Natty Lite twice before and when I became a media free agent, I knew that was where I wanted to take my talents. The first time I ever came across them was their article on the University of Iowa’s ANAL program - something I was researching in-depth for an upcoming Closing Thoughts segment. The second time was last fall when they covered C.J. Beathard’s refusal to stand for the playing of In Heaven There Is No Beer. Right then and there, reading that article, I decided any site that can cover such an important cause in an unbiased way is the site for me. I told myself that if I were to ever leave The Blaze, I would make WRNL my first call. Luckily, they picked up.”
Wide Right & Natty Lite is now officially in the hands of one of the rising stars of the media industry, and the entire staff is excited to get the Lahren era started. Stay tuned for much more video content on a wide variety of topics - ones we’re sure EVERYONE will enjoy!
Okay, okay. This article was obviously an April Fool’s joke, but we didn’t want to publish on April Fool’s Day because that would make it too obvious! If you just came here for the joke, you can stop reading now. If you want to find out a little more serious news, continue on.
Behind the scenes, only a few members of our staff knew what was ACTUALLY going on. I teased the article on Twitter earlier in the week and, naturally, our staff and some of my closest friends were dying to know who we were bringing on. Many asked questions and I kept assuring them it was worth the wait.
Well… Technically, it was worth the wait… Right?!
However, something I must touch on is, to keep the rest of the WRNL staff off the trail, I told them the “new guy” would be transitioning over to Managing Editor and I would soon be stepping down. For better or for worse, that worked like a charm and stuff got all sentimental behind the scenes. I started feeling guilty, and I’m sure upon reading this some of them are really feeling duped.
That’s why I must admit there was a bit of truth to what I was saying… While Tomi Lahren is obviously NOT becoming the next Managing Editor of WRNL, I am making it public that I’m beginning to openly search for an heir to take over the WRNL empire. A “manager-in-training,” if you will. Work and other developments in my personal life (I’m getting married in July!) are beginning to take more priority over running this great site and I don’t want it to suffer because I can’t pour my heart and soul into it.
So consider this my official advertisement that if YOU, or anyone else you know, has interest in becoming the next Managing Editor of WRNL, you should contact me at kevfitz87 at gmail dot com. I’m not in any hurry to leave, and I’m going to make sure to take time and choose the right person to hand the reins to, but that can’t start without me making it known.
Thanks for our staff for your kind words this week about me “leaving,” and when the day comes that I actually get the big demote, you have my complete permission to shower me in expletives (you can do that now too, actually) and save the sentiment for another time.
Lastly, I’d like to thank Tomi Lahren for providing me one of the most WRNL-esque ways to release that we’re searching for a new Managing Editor. I prefer this route to going 100% serious/sad any day.