The month of May brings us many wonderful things such as flowers, the return of nice-ish weather, and occasional trips to the pool. One thing May does NOT bring us is big-time Iowa State news. Unless you’re a hard nosed recruiting fanatic, chances are this is a down month for your Clones coverage.
So what did I, one of the newest members of the WRNL staff, decide to write about in my first-ever article? I let the readers decide... Which was a terrible idea. Thank you to the readers of WRNL for welcoming me with closed arms and creating a massive list of troll questions.
@fierce1234: If you had to take the place of a current ISU football starter and play the first game of the year, which position would you screw up least?
Great question, @fierce1234! It has to be the last guy on the kickoff coverage team, right? If some Texas A&M student can do it, I sure as hell can go out there and not commit a penalty for a play! Hot take incoming: Being the quarterback for a play wouldn’t hurt the team as much as playing O-line. Why? If you’re QB, all you have to do is turn around and hand it off for a semi-normal play. If you’re an offensive lineman going up against a 300 pound future draft pick, my guess is that you’ll be on the ground pretty quick, along with your quarterback.
@Jar_Lar: Where are the best tacos found in Ames?
This was the exact reason I was brought on to contribute to this site! Es Tas is the clear favorite for a few reasons. The first is that their tacos are relatively filling compared to other places (sorry Fuzzy’s). Secondly, they’re cheap on Tuesdays, which is when you want to go. And third, Es Tas is an excellent bar by itself (yes, I’m counting atmosphere).
Speaking of bars, here are my favorites in Campustown (in no particular order):
- AJ’s before 6 on Friday’s (points for patio & $.50 drinks)
- Es Tas on Tuesday’s
@TedFlintKansas: You go to a wedding reception they are only serving Miller Lite. You can drink Miller Lite or stay sober. What do you do?
Hey I like Mil—
@Bobby_Gates81: You think Prohm is gonna change the way he runs the offense now that the Hoiberg era of players are gone?
The thing about Prohm is that although his offense may mimic what Fred was able to do successfully, it isn’t quite the same. I think what made Fred so good was instilling the ability to let his players make decisions on a per-possession basis. Prohm, on the other hand, is at his best when he is calling plays and setting up his players to execute correctly. I thought the offense at the beginning of last year wasn’t rigid enough, and Prohm let the guys play by themselves a bit too often for my taste.
So to answer your question, I think the offense will be more structured this year due to the influx of new guys, but the concepts and spacing will remain the same.
@RedDirtSport: If Iowa State football was a hot dog sandwich what toppings would it have?
First off, who refers to a hot dog as a “hot dog sandwich?” (Disclaimer: very relieved to not get asked the question “is a hot dog a sandwich?” That is one of life’s greatest mysteries, along with the pronunciation of “GIF” and what was inside the briefcase in Pulp Fiction.)
I could go anywhere with this question, but after discussion with the brain trust, I think the answer is sauerkraut.
Here’s why: I don’t mean to hate on sauerkraut, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say it’s an acquired taste that some people love, but most people don’t pay any attention to. Isn’t this a perfect analogy for Iowa State football? We’ve got a loyal fanbase that goes crazy at the littlest things, and no one outside of our fans pays attention to us. If this applied to other schools, wouldn’t Alabama be ketchup and mustard? Also, Rutgers would be an overcooked dog that got dropped in the dirt and tossed in the garbage because no one wanted to eat it.
@A_Mar32: Top five Taylor Swift songs?
- Bad Blood (the version with Kung Fu Kenny)
- Wildest Dreams
- Shake it Off
@RyanWitek: Drafting a team right now would you take Lebron and his longevity or Jordan and his shorter more dominant era?
So Jordan for 13 years (For simplicity I’m not counting his Wizards days) or LeBron for 14+? Interesting question.
Personally, I have no problem with people who would take LeBron in this scenario, but it’s hard to not take the GOAT. You have some guaranteed titles with him, whereas you’re gonna need to build around LeBron and take some time to put the right pieces around him. But again, I have no problem with taking LeBron, either. It’s a safe bet that with either one of these guys you’re gonna be pretty damn successful.
@Rdee127: 1-on-1 to 11 by 1s and 2s. Raftery vs Dickie V. Who you got. Gonna need a scouting report.
The real winner here is America, obviously.
Fun fact (according to Wikipedia anyway) is that Dickie V doesn’t have vision in his left eye. Bet ya didn’t know that!
Raftery actually played college ball and Dickie V did not. Currently Vitale is 77 and Raftery is 74. That age gap absolutely matters. I’d like to see Raftery back him down every possession and put up a little hook. On the other end, look for Dickie V to get very excited and ultimately dribble the ball off his own leg pretty much every play.
Hubie Brown would obviously be calling the game, but chances are he just talks about how the 3-point line is ruining the game of basketball and feels sorry for whoever is losing. I can just hear it now:
“See now, that’s just bad basketball there. You have to feel bad for Dickie V there. Just a poor showing on the defensive end.”
“Okay now listen there you go gotta make those easy layups you’ve cut the lead to 3 now see.”
Final Score: Raftery 11, Vitale 5,