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Jacob or Hickory: Which Park Does It Better?

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Time to settle this question, once and for all.

Fall camp has started up this week, and with that comes battles for most positions. But at quarterback, Jacob Park seems to have the starting spot sewn up for the fall. Since Park’s spot on the field is secure, we thought it would be worthwhile to compare him against a local icon to see where he stands on the depth chart of Parks in Ames.

Cost

Jacob Park: Iowa State lists the cost of attendance for an out-of-state student at $33,364 a year. Add to that number the price for food, trainers, and keeping Jacob supplied with hair ties and you’re probably looking at somewhere north of $50k/year for Jacob Park.

Hickory Park: A Saucy Southerner is $5.95 and comes with fries.

Winner: Hickory Park.

Singing Happy Birthday

Hickory Park: According to their website, the Hickory Park staff sings "Happy Birthday" approximately 300 times a week.

Jacob Park: Sings “Happy Birthday” a minimum of 500 times a week (probably).

Winner: Jacob Park.

Seating

Jacob Park: Room on his lap for one adult or two children*.

Hickory Park: Seating for 450.

Winner: Hickory Park.

*or two petite co-eds

Mobility

Jacob Park: Able to effectively move within the pocket, generating time for his receivers to get open.

Hickory Park: A building that cannot move.

Winner: Jacob Park.

Desserts

Jacob Park: Can tie 5 cherry stems at the same time using only his tongue.

Hickory Park: Offers a vast ice cream menu at affordable prices.

Winner: Close call, but... Hickory Park.

Line Management

Hickory Park: Plenty of seating means fast turnover, but wait times can be a bit lengthy during peak hours.

Jacob Park: Has a quick release and the ability to tuck-and-run in case the line breaks down.

Winner: Jacob Park.

Measurables

Jacob Park: 6-foot-4, 205 pounds.

Hickory Park: Approximately 18,000 square feet.

Winner: Hickory Park.

Hair

Via Ames Tribune

Jacob Park: See above.

Hickory Park: Hair sometimes found in food.

Winner: Jacob Park.

Conclusion

It’s too close to call, so we need your help. Which Park do you think does it better?

Poll

Which is the superior Park?

This poll is closed

  • 32%
    Jacob Park
    (152 votes)
  • 38%
    Hickory Park
    (180 votes)
  • 26%
    Ledges State Park
    (121 votes)
  • 2%
    Other
    (12 votes)
465 votes total Vote Now