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1st Annual Iowa State Football Fake Sporting Prop Bets

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We’re just about a month away from football season, and what better way to pass the time before the Super Bowl showdown against UNI than to throw your hard-earned money into a degenerative flurry of fake prop sporting bets?

Will Iowa State prove all the media pundits wrong by beating the 5.5 Over/Under mark that Vegas has tabbed them?

Will Allen Lazard break every receiving record at Iowa State?

But most importantly, will Matt Campbell come out to the Stone Cold Steve Austin theme song and douse himself in Advocare?

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the first annual ISU football fake sporting bet column.

First off, let me get to the rules of this completely made-up and ridiculous game. The only way to deposit funds into the WRNL fake overseas betting account is with the following:

1) Gene Chizik commemorative coins

2) Bill Snyder AARP cards

3) Bob Stoops hush money

If any of you actually have those invaluable Chizcoins still in possession, now is your time to dump them, before his stock crashes. Oh, wait.

Also, for any of you rookies out there, here is the tutorial on MINUS and PLUS. Instead of actually clicking on the link (like I know none of you will do) – here is how it works.

Every prop works off a standard $100 bet. If you see odds of MINUS $200, that means, you have to bet $200 to make $100. And vice-versa, PLUS $500, means the same as 5-to-1 odds, betting $100 to make $500. Got it – alright here we go.


Bet #1 - Will Jacob Park break the school record for most passing touchdowns in a season (20.5)?

This poll is closed

  • 71%
    1) OVER 20.5 (Minus-130)
    (244 votes)
  • 28%
    2) UNDER 20.5 (Plus-120)
    (98 votes)
342 votes total Vote Now

It’s a bit embarrassing that no one has eclipsed that mark (set by Todd Bandhauer in 1997), especially in today’s landscape of video game stats and passes thrown all over the field. I’m gonna go with my instinct on this one, and bet the over.


Bet #2 - Who Will Jacob Park thank first after he wins the Heisman Trophy?

This poll is closed

  • 38%
    1) Jesus Christ (-5000)
    (125 votes)
  • 61%
    2) Field (Even)
    (198 votes)
323 votes total Vote Now

The resemblance is uncanny. This is easy money, folks.

Iowa State Daily


Bet #3 – Over/Under on 2.5 of these school records being broken by Allen Lazard – Receiving Yards in a Season (1073 is the mark to beat), Receptions in a Season (81), Touchdowns in a Season (9)

This poll is closed

  • 62%
    1) Over 2.5 (+175)
    (200 votes)
  • 37%
    2) Under 2.5 (-120)
    (120 votes)
320 votes total Vote Now

Lazard's best seasonal statistics are 1018 yards, 69 catches, and 7 TDs, and he will eclipse a multitude of career records at ISU by the time he is done, but will he perform in record fashion in the 12 (or possibly 13) games he plays in 2017?


Bet #4 – Will the running back duo of David Montgomery and Mike Warren combine for 2,000 rushing yards or more in the 2017 season?

This poll is closed

  • 57%
    1) Yes (+300)
    (184 votes)
  • 42%
    2) No (-180)
    (135 votes)
319 votes total Vote Now

In today’s pass-happy college game, a team having two backs capable of hitting the one thousand yard mark for the season is unusual. Both tailbacks reaching a thousand yards would be remarkable, though unlikely. That said, this bet is only asking for 2,000 yards COMBINED, not specifically 1,000 from each running back. Worth noting is Campbell’s last year at the helm in Toledo, in which he had two running backs reach 900 yards for the season.

NCAA Football: San Jose State at Iowa State
Look for this bruiser to continue on last year's progress
Reese Strickland-USA TODAY Sports

Bet #5 – On a scale of hotness - from Susan Boyle to Megan Fox - what are the chances Iowa State receives an apology letter from the Big 12?

I’m not even going to give you the chance to vote on this one. The wall space is already being cleared for another Bob Bowlsby-signed plaque.


Bet #6 – Over/Under 0.5 Face plants for Coach Matt Campbell when bumping chests with a player on the field?

This poll is closed

  • 59%
    1) Over 0.5 (+500)
    (175 votes)
  • 40%
    2) Under 0.5 (-1500)
    (117 votes)
292 votes total Vote Now

And this is the part where we throw all inhibitions to the wind, and get a little, shall I say, risky…


Bet #7 – Who wins in a beer shot-gunning contest?

This poll is closed

  • 50%
    1) Larry Eustachy (-1000)
    (155 votes)
  • 15%
    2) Troy Davis (-500)
    (48 votes)
  • 14%
    3) Vodka Sam (-750)
    (43 votes)
  • 19%
    4) Chris Williams aka Busch Light fanatic (-200)
    (60 votes)
306 votes total Vote Now


Bet #8 – How much smoke will we see coming out of the tunnel for the first ISU game?

This poll is closed

  • 39%
    1) Smoke from your stereotypical uncle chain-smoking a pack of Marlboro Reds on the front porch
    (118 votes)
  • 60%
    2) Flare smoke at a Polish soccer game
    (178 votes)
296 votes total Vote Now
ABC News


Bet #9 - If you had to guess, what will be stolen out of the Iowa locker room during halftime of the CyHawk game (by an Iowa alum)?

This poll is closed

  • 12%
    1) Cell phones and cash (-1000), so original dude…
    (37 votes)
  • 7%
    2) Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (-600)
    (21 votes)
  • 27%
    3) Kirk Ferentz’s chewing gum (-200)
    (80 votes)
  • 51%
    4) Brian Ferentz’s jock strap (+500), because we all know he still wears one..
    (149 votes)
287 votes total Vote Now


Bet #10 – Tommy Birch’s sources when reporting a story on Mike Warren’s absence from the team (hypothetically speaking, of course).

This poll is closed

  • 10%
    1) Travis Hines (-300)
    (29 votes)
  • 31%
    2) Travis Hines’ anonymous sources (-200)
    (87 votes)
  • 28%
    3) Anonymous sources (+100)
    (79 votes)
  • 29%
    4) Warren’s own mother (+500)
    (82 votes)
277 votes total Vote Now


Bet #11 – Who will be Kansas State’s head coach when the Cyclones visit Kansas State on November 25th?

This poll is closed

  • 42%
    1) Bill Snyder (-600)
    (122 votes)
  • 10%
    2) Sean Snyder (+400)
    (30 votes)
  • 29%
    3) Gandalf the WHITE (+1000)
    (84 votes)
  • 17%
    4) Mark Mangino (+INFINITY)
    (50 votes)
286 votes total Vote Now

Let’s be honest, Mangenius is truly un-hireable.

And last but not least, these are the true Vegas Odds (according to Bovada)


Bet #12 - Iowa State’s Over/Under for wins in 2017

This poll is closed

  • 72%
    1) OVER 5.5 Wins (+120)
    (216 votes)
  • 28%
    2) UNDER 5.5 Wins (-150)
    (84 votes)
300 votes total Vote Now