Kirk Ferentz Takes Pay Cut, Applies for Low-Income Housing

Days after donating over one million dollars, Kirk Ferentz announced he is also taking a pay-cut. The state of Iowa’s most overpaid employee has been labeled a generous giver ever since agreeing to a modest $4.5 million per year contract, which was quite far off from his true market value.

While Ferentz continues to shed income and evade taxes, Wide Right Natty Lite has learned there is an alternative motive other than his unabashed unselfishness. Low-income housing.

Living in the slums is far from a new concept for Iowa football’s first family. Kirk’s son Brian (now Iowa’s offensive coordinator and soon to be public enemy #1) suffered through his college years living in government subsidized housing thanks to his father’s rather pedestrian salary of $1.2 million at the time.

It is unclear just how much more salary and total net worth the Ferentz family will have to discard in order to qualify for the cheap housing, but it doesn’t look like these two moves will be the end of it. “Frugal Ferentz” formally known as “New Kirk” is fully committed to embracing the “one-star” lifestyle.

With any move comes the wonderful opportunity of meeting new neighbors.

The Big Ten Conference’s longest tenured and most stale coach also plans to donate significant amounts to Iowa’s “America Needs Farmers” campaign, who in turn will direct an entire 2% of the donation to actual farmers. The rest has reportedly been guided toward purchasing more helmet decals.

In addition to his contribution to ANF, the head football coach plans to donate a substantial amount of money to the athletic department earmarked for “civil suit payments”. By doing so, the coach hopes people know he doesn’t discriminate when it comes to choosing the recipients of his kind acts.

His generosity is truly something outstanding and has created a snowball effect within the Iowa football locker room. Many of Iowa’s football players are planning to match Ferentz’s kind move by giving up by 2% of their $2,128 yearly stipend which equates to roughly $42.56.

These contributions should generate enough funds to put two new coats of Dutch Boy semi-gloss paint on the visiting locker room walls. Pink walls that haven’t been painted for years due to budget restrictions caused by “employee payroll” issues.