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The 2nd Annual Iowa State Football Fake Sporting Prop Bets

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Screw Vegas, you can make your picks right here

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Calling all betting degenerates! It is less than a month before Iowa State takes the field to play SDSU, and what better way to start off the football year than with the Second Annual Iowa State Football Fake Sporting Prop Bets.

MidAmerican Energy called us to sponsor, but Jamie Pollard quickly blocked that plan, just like he blocked virtually everyone on Twitter (except us, miraculously).

So, will David Montgomery go Hulk-A-Mania on everyone’s ass, or will a dumpster fire named Kansas lose all their conference games by 40 or more?

This is year two of the Fake Sporting Prop Bets. Make sure to check out last year’s Fake Sporting Prop Bets here.

First off, let me get to the rules of this completely made-up and ridiculous game. The only way to deposit funds into the WRNL fake overseas betting account is with the following:

1) Gene Chizik Commemorative Coins

2) Bill Snyder AARP cards

3) Urban Meyer hush money

Also, for any of you rookies out there, here is the tutorial on MINUS and PLUS. Instead of actually clicking on the link (like I know none of you will do) – here is how it works.

Every prop works off a standard $100 bet. If you see odds of MINUS $200, that means, you have to bet $200 to make $100. And vice-versa, PLUS $500, means the same as 5-to-1 odds, betting $100 to make $500. Got it – alright here we go.

Poll

Bet #1 – Vegas Odds to Win the Big 12 Conference?

This poll is closed

  • 22%
    Oklahoma +130 (real original, boys)
    (35 votes)
  • 1%
    Texas +325 (This hype train always gets derailed)
    (2 votes)
  • 15%
    TCU +700 (Gary Patterson is sweating just looking at this)
    (24 votes)
  • 2%
    Okie State +700 (Mike Gundy is pulling his hair out)
    (4 votes)
  • 16%
    West Virginia +750 (Holgerson just grabbed another red bull vodka)
    (25 votes)
  • 40%
    Iowa State +2500 (good odds folks)
    (63 votes)
  • 1%
    Kansas State +3000 (don’t ever count out the Wizard)
    (2 votes)
  • 0%
    Texas Tech +4000 (Ryan Gosling is playing for his job)
    (0 votes)
  • 0%
    The dumpster fire that is Baylor +6000 (FBU)
    (0 votes)
  • 0%
    Kansas +80000 (that is not a misprint) Seriously...
    (1 vote)
156 votes total Vote Now

Sidenote, on a scale from Spongebob the Square Pants noodle arm to Popeye’s spinach arm – how big will Kyle Kempt’s arm be?

Poll

Bet #2 - Who will Campbell name as his Offensive Coordinator

This poll is closed

  • 63%
    No one -1000
    (94 votes)
  • 14%
    QB Coach Joel Gordon +250
    (22 votes)
  • 15%
    Offensive Analyst Jim Hofher +350
    (23 votes)
  • 5%
    Mark Mangino +50000
    (8 votes)
147 votes total Vote Now

It appears Campbell is taking the responsibility for the play calls, but you never know if a fat man sawing wood puts his name into the ring

Poll

Bet #3 - Will David Montgomery break more tackles than the ridiculous 109 he had last year?

This poll is closed

  • 40%
    OVER +185
    (63 votes)
  • 59%
    UNDER -210
    (92 votes)
155 votes total Vote Now

Just an absurd number a year ago. You better hope we shore up the offensive line to give #32 some running room in ’18.

Poll

Bet #4 - Will Jaquan Bailey get 8 Sacks to put him over the career record in sacks at ISU?

This poll is closed

  • 79%
    OVER 8 +225
    (120 votes)
  • 20%
    UNDER -175
    (31 votes)
151 votes total Vote Now

Quite honestly, one of the most embarrassing stats at ISU. The Cyclones have had a few disruptive defensive ends come through in the short term, but this should be a lock for Bailey in his four-year career.

Poll

Bet #5 - Will Iowa State host a Weekend of ESPN’s College GameDay on campus in 2018?

This poll is closed

  • 27%
    Hell no. The media doesn’t want to come to Ames, IA -500
    (43 votes)
  • 45%
    Nah, they will just go to Columbus or Tuscaloosa again. -350
    (70 votes)
  • 9%
    Prove it to me with an undefeated season, then ESPN will think about it. -250
    (15 votes)
  • 17%
    Sure, let’s see who this Matt Campbell guy is all about. +500
    (27 votes)
155 votes total Vote Now

Boy would this be legendary, and you know the fans will show up, like shoppers trampling over each other to stores on Thanksgiving Day. The best bet is for a home matchup against Oklahoma (Week 3) or West Virginia (Week 7), but you all know ESPN will break our hearts and pass Ames up for a Big Ten or SEC matchup like they always do.

Notre Dame v FSU Photo by Craig Jones/Getty Images

Now is the time we do a deep dive into all that is real with the world and is never known as “fake news” to the media.

Poll

Bet #6 - With the Wizard Bill Snyder’s diet of Taco Bell, prune juice and Metamucil, where will he be present during the majority of K-State football games?

This poll is closed

  • 65%
    Coaching on the Sidelines -600
    (95 votes)
  • 34%
    Bathroom +175
    (51 votes)
146 votes total Vote Now

This 78-year old man just got a 5-year extension. Not kidding

Poll

Bet #7 - Is Tom Herman the weirdest coach in the Big 12?

This poll is closed

  • 64%
    Yes -150
    (93 votes)
  • 35%
    No +150
    (51 votes)
144 votes total Vote Now

Poll

Bet #8 - Since the Team Out East invented the color black, what will be ISU’s fine be for wearing it in Iowa City?

This poll is closed

  • 6%
    Gum for Kirk Ferentz’s chewing pleasure. +200
    (9 votes)
  • 33%
    Tear drops for Brian Ferentz for all of his crying about recruiting. +350
    (47 votes)
  • 44%
    An ISU Police tutorial showing all Iowa student-athletes how to not accidentally get into a cop car. +500
    (63 votes)
  • 15%
    Renewal of CyHawk Rivalry (aka Iowa’s Super Bowl) for another 100 years +1000
    (22 votes)
141 votes total Vote Now
Nebraska v Iowa
They cheated!
Photo by Matthew Holst/Getty Images

Poll

Bet #9 - After naming the complex as MidAmerican Field at Jack Trice Stadium, who will be the next sponsor to step up and name the grass?

This poll is closed

  • 8%
    Iowa State University’s Turfgrass Management Program -750
    (12 votes)
  • 33%
    Seneca Wallace’s WingStop Restaurant -200 (as he should)
    (48 votes)
  • 8%
    Kush Mart Marijuana Shop in Ames, IA -175
    (12 votes)
  • 49%
    WRNL’s Actually Helping Farmers Campaign +500
    (71 votes)
143 votes total Vote Now

Poll

Bet #10 - Finally, Iowa State’s Over/Under for Wins in 2018 (set at 6.5 according to Bovada)?

This poll is closed

  • 90%
    Over 6.5 (-120)
    (144 votes)
  • 9%
    Under 6.5 (-110)
    (15 votes)
159 votes total Vote Now