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Calling all betting degenerates! It is less than a month before Iowa State takes the field to play SDSU, and what better way to start off the football year than with the Second Annual Iowa State Football Fake Sporting Prop Bets.
MidAmerican Energy called us to sponsor, but Jamie Pollard quickly blocked that plan, just like he blocked virtually everyone on Twitter (except us, miraculously).
So, will David Montgomery go Hulk-A-Mania on everyone’s ass, or will a dumpster fire named Kansas lose all their conference games by 40 or more?
This is year two of the Fake Sporting Prop Bets. Make sure to check out last year’s Fake Sporting Prop Bets here.
First off, let me get to the rules of this completely made-up and ridiculous game. The only way to deposit funds into the WRNL fake overseas betting account is with the following:
1) Gene Chizik Commemorative Coins
2) Bill Snyder AARP cards
3) Urban Meyer hush money
Also, for any of you rookies out there, here is the tutorial on MINUS and PLUS. Instead of actually clicking on the link (like I know none of you will do) – here is how it works.
Every prop works off a standard $100 bet. If you see odds of MINUS $200, that means, you have to bet $200 to make $100. And vice-versa, PLUS $500, means the same as 5-to-1 odds, betting $100 to make $500. Got it – alright here we go.
Poll
Bet #1 – Vegas Odds to Win the Big 12 Conference?
This poll is closed
-
22%
Oklahoma +130 (real original, boys)
(35 votes) -
1%
Texas +325 (This hype train always gets derailed)
(2 votes) -
15%
TCU +700 (Gary Patterson is sweating just looking at this)
(24 votes) -
2%
Okie State +700 (Mike Gundy is pulling his hair out)
(4 votes) -
16%
West Virginia +750 (Holgerson just grabbed another red bull vodka)
(25 votes) -
40%
Iowa State +2500 (good odds folks)
(63 votes) -
1%
Kansas State +3000 (don’t ever count out the Wizard)
(2 votes) -
0%
Texas Tech +4000 (Ryan Gosling is playing for his job)
(0 votes) -
0%
The dumpster fire that is Baylor +6000 (FBU)
(0 votes) -
0%
Kansas +80000 (that is not a misprint) Seriously...
(1 vote)
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Sidenote, on a scale from Spongebob the Square Pants noodle arm to Popeye’s spinach arm – how big will Kyle Kempt’s arm be?
Poll
Bet #2 - Who will Campbell name as his Offensive Coordinator
This poll is closed
-
63%
No one -1000
(94 votes) -
14%
QB Coach Joel Gordon +250
(22 votes) -
15%
Offensive Analyst Jim Hofher +350
(23 votes) -
5%
Mark Mangino +50000
(8 votes)
It appears Campbell is taking the responsibility for the play calls, but you never know if a fat man sawing wood puts his name into the ring
Poll
Bet #3 - Will David Montgomery break more tackles than the ridiculous 109 he had last year?
Just an absurd number a year ago. You better hope we shore up the offensive line to give #32 some running room in ’18.
Poll
Bet #4 - Will Jaquan Bailey get 8 Sacks to put him over the career record in sacks at ISU?
Quite honestly, one of the most embarrassing stats at ISU. The Cyclones have had a few disruptive defensive ends come through in the short term, but this should be a lock for Bailey in his four-year career.
Poll
Bet #5 - Will Iowa State host a Weekend of ESPN’s College GameDay on campus in 2018?
This poll is closed
-
27%
Hell no. The media doesn’t want to come to Ames, IA -500
(43 votes) -
45%
Nah, they will just go to Columbus or Tuscaloosa again. -350
(70 votes) -
9%
Prove it to me with an undefeated season, then ESPN will think about it. -250
(15 votes) -
17%
Sure, let’s see who this Matt Campbell guy is all about. +500
(27 votes)
Boy would this be legendary, and you know the fans will show up, like shoppers trampling over each other to stores on Thanksgiving Day. The best bet is for a home matchup against Oklahoma (Week 3) or West Virginia (Week 7), but you all know ESPN will break our hearts and pass Ames up for a Big Ten or SEC matchup like they always do.
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Now is the time we do a deep dive into all that is real with the world and is never known as “fake news” to the media.
Poll
Bet #6 - With the Wizard Bill Snyder’s diet of Taco Bell, prune juice and Metamucil, where will he be present during the majority of K-State football games?
This poll is closed
-
65%
Coaching on the Sidelines -600
(95 votes) -
34%
Bathroom +175
(51 votes)
This 78-year old man just got a 5-year extension. Not kidding
Poll
Bet #7 - Is Tom Herman the weirdest coach in the Big 12?
Poll
Bet #8 - Since the Team Out East invented the color black, what will be ISU’s fine be for wearing it in Iowa City?
This poll is closed
-
6%
Gum for Kirk Ferentz’s chewing pleasure. +200
(9 votes) -
33%
Tear drops for Brian Ferentz for all of his crying about recruiting. +350
(47 votes) -
44%
An ISU Police tutorial showing all Iowa student-athletes how to not accidentally get into a cop car. +500
(63 votes) -
15%
Renewal of CyHawk Rivalry (aka Iowa’s Super Bowl) for another 100 years +1000
(22 votes)
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Poll
Bet #9 - After naming the complex as MidAmerican Field at Jack Trice Stadium, who will be the next sponsor to step up and name the grass?
This poll is closed
-
8%
Iowa State University’s Turfgrass Management Program -750
(12 votes) -
33%
Seneca Wallace’s WingStop Restaurant -200 (as he should)
(48 votes) -
8%
Kush Mart Marijuana Shop in Ames, IA -175
(12 votes) -
49%
WRNL’s Actually Helping Farmers Campaign +500
(71 votes)
Poll
Bet #10 - Finally, Iowa State’s Over/Under for Wins in 2018 (set at 6.5 according to Bovada)?
This poll is closed
-
90%
Over 6.5 (-120)
(144 votes) -
9%
Under 6.5 (-110)
(15 votes)