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Welcome you degenerate college football fans to another year of the Annual Fake Sporting Bets, here on WRNL. We are brought to you by our friends from 1-800-Betsoff. If you have a gambling problem like me, make sure to call the number and freeze your bank accounts. Just don’t do it in that order.
Now that the wonderful state of Iowa has allowed gambling to be legal, expect there to be more casual fans dipping their virgin toes into the water. I’ve been a consistent football and basketball betting aficionado since I got out of college, but am not sure if I will take the leap towards Iowa casinos. All in all, it is a good thing for sports in general and helps liven some of the action along the way.
With that being said, we have 10 completely legitimate bets you can make on WRNL, and all of them are sanctioned and protected by our good friends from the “TEAM OUT EAST.” You may know them as a prestigious and accredited Law School, but we here know them simply as ANAL.
Now, if you don’t know already, here is how every prop bet comes into play – it works off a standard $100 bet. If you see odds of MINUS $200, that means, you have to bet $200 to make $100. And vice-versa, PLUS $500, means the same as 5-to-1 odds, betting $100 to make $500. Got it? Alright, here we go.
Poll
Bet #1 – Vegas Odds to Win the Big 12 Conference?
This poll is closed
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19%
Oklahoma -125 (Hmm, give me a surprise why dontcha ya)
-
13%
Texas +285 (Everyone’s Darling Pick)
-
59%
Iowa State +1050 (#ProveIt)
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0%
West Virginia +1100 (With That Schedule, no way)
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4%
TCU +2000 (Gary Patterson’s teams tend to RISE and FALL)
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1%
Oklahoma State +2000 (Mike Gundy is never cutting his mullet)
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0%
Baylor +2000 (apparently this middle of the conference is pretty even)
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0%
Texas Tech +2200 (The Ken Doll Experiment didn’t work out)
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0%
Kansas State +4000 (Uh, so Bill Snyder isn’t coaching from the Nursing Home anymore?)
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1%
Kansas +10000 (Yes those odds are real)
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Poll
Bet #2 – Will Texas QB Sam Ehlinger channel his inner Colt McCoy (I think the two play a very similar style) and lead the Longhorns to a Big 12 Championship, er College Football Playoff Bid?
This poll is closed
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12%
He’s no Vince Young -1000
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18%
He plays too reckless and will get injured -400
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32%
The Big 12 is Wide Open This Year (Its Anybody’s for the Taking) +200
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37%
Texas IS NOT BACK (Horns DOWN) +1000
Poll
Bet #3 – Since 2008 Iowa State has yet to have the same starting quarterback for an entire season, so what is the over/under on games started for projected Starting QB1 Brock Purdy? (PS there are 12 regular season games)
This poll is closed
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59%
OVER 11.5 +550
-
40%
UNDER 11.5 -210
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Poll
Bet #4 – Will ISU have a 1,000 yard rusher OR 1,000 yard receiver during the 2019 season? The DM Train and his back-to-back 1,000+ yard campaigns AND Hakeem Butler’s record-breaking 1,318 yards from a year ago are both gone.
Poll
Bet #5 – The Cyclones have FOUR players listed on the Big-12 all Preseason First Team – and all are on Defense (Ray Lima, Jaquan Bailey, Marcel Spears, Jr., and Greg Eisworth). How may ISU players will finish the season on a 1st Team Ballot?
This poll is closed
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65%
OVER 4 +275
-
34%
UNDER 4 -250
Poll
Bet #6 – Will ISU host a Weekend of ESPN’s College GameDay on Campus in 2019?
This poll is closed
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23%
So You are Telling Me There’s a Chance! +200
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45%
#ProveIt (ESPN waits until the Cyclones are in Big 12 Contention vs Texas) -110
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5%
Ames isn’t exciting enough for Herbie and the Boyz from Bristol -500
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25%
Hell nah. Lets just pack our bags for a Big Ten or SEC game, again. -1000
Poll
Bet #7 – The Big 12 welcomes 4 new Head Coaches to the Fraternity (TTU’s Matt Wells, KSU’s Chris Klieman, KU’s Les Miles, and WVU’s Neal Brown). Among all four, who wins in a case race (sponsored by our friends at Natty Lite of course)
This poll is closed
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25%
Matt Wells -500
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17%
Neal Brown -350
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28%
Chris Klieman +500
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28%
Les Miles +1000 (he prefers eating grass)
Lets be honest it comes down to these two..
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Poll
Bet #8 – What color Uniform Will ISU wear against Iowa?
This poll is closed
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20%
Standard CARDINAL/WHITE Home Uni’s -400
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47%
ALL CARDINAL RED -250
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32%
FUCK IT – We’re Going BLACK +750
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Poll
BET #9 – Will Hawkeye radio announcer Gary Dolphin be suspended prior to the ISU/Iowa Game (played in week 3 of Iowa’s Season)
This poll is closed
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12%
Lets just say he doesn’t get Xmas Cards from AD Gary Barta -250
-
16%
Oh Buddy Boy - The Man is On a Short Leash -150
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36%
Dolph will play it Cool, and keep a tight lip during the season +200
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33%
An Intern forgets to turn off the Mic again during commercial break +1000
Poll
Bet #10 - Vegas has ISU tabbed at 8 for Over/Under on Wins. How will the Cyclones Finish?
This poll is closed
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87%
OVER 8 +100
-
12%
UNDER 8 -120
Poll
Bet #11 When ISU goes on the biggest run of our lifetime, makes it to the Big 12 Championship, and is set to kick a game-winning FG clinching a berth in the College Football Playoff, what would you sacrifice for that Damn Ball to Go Through the Uprights?
This poll is closed
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25%
Go An Entire Month Sober -1000
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10%
No Air Conditioning for A Week in August -800
-
27%
No Christmas Presents for a Year -500
-
10%
Wait another 25 years Before ISU is legitimate in FB again +750
-
26%
Your Left NUT +5000
PS Add any more thoughtful Sacrifices to our Comments Below..