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Things I want renovated at Iowa State

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Levi had his chance to talk about the big things, but I’m here to talk about what really needs to be done.

Earlier today, Levi brokedown every new project that is coming to Iowa State. Obviously those are some giant leaps for the university (in a good way), but it got me thinking, what really needs to be done at Iowa State? Good news for you, here’s everything I came up with.

Make the ceilings in the Maple dorms 2 inches higher

Cost: idk probably a lot

Begin Construction: soon

Occupancy/completion: next weekend?

If I smash my head on my ceiling 3 or 4 more times, I’m gonna be really really mad. I know what you’re thinking, “Aiden, don’t put your bed so close to the ceiling” and if I did that I wouldn’t have room for my desk under my bed at that point so check and mate. I don’t know the logistics of making a ceiling 2 inches higher, but my solution is to take a concrete saw and get rid of the waffle ceilings (pictured below).

Build a Matt Campbell statue

Cost: who cares

Begin construction: ASAP as possible

Occupancy/completion: when it’s done

A Matt Campbell statue is almost overdue at this point if I’m being honest. Possibly the greatest thing to ever happen to Iowa State and that should be celebrated. I’m not talking some run of the mill, life-size statue. I’m talking like Statue of Liberty type stuff. We’re gonna take that a step further even. They should take the Colossus of Rhodes idea and just stick Matt Campbell’s face on it and throw that puppy right in front of Jack Trice. While we’re at it, save some room for T.J. Otzelberger’s statue (yeah I said it).

Bring back VEISHEA

Cost: psh

Begin process: yesterday

Completion: before I graduate pls

This one’s a no-brainer. As someone who never really got to experience VEISHEA, I feel pretty left out. I never got to experience all of the concerts, midnight pancakes, or the cop car tipping. Shame. Not to mention, it looked like a whole lot of fun to rip a stop sign out of the ground. Can’t wait until this comes back in the near future.

Put Convos food at every dining hall

Cost: can’t be that much

Begin process: when seasons inevitably runs out of their only good food

Completion: by the time I’m back on campus next fall

All the homies can agree that Conversations has the best food of all the dining centers. Seasons? Kick rocks. Windows? Overrated. UDCC? Tolerable I guess. Where can I get a bacon cheeseburger whenever I please? Conversations. Not only do they have better options, they just flat out have better food. Wing night at Seasons is legit, but I’m taking convos everyday of the week. Next question.

Track down the helmet cart

Cost: $1601 allegedly

Begin process: however soon we can track it down

Completion: Next season

The Football Helmet E-Z-Go Golf Cart was a treasure from the 1990’s Iowa State football program that should have never gone away. I’m not even 100% sure what the purpose was for this thing but you tellin’ me Breece Hall going on a Marshawn Lynch-esque joyride after a win over the team out East wouldn’t be the coolest thing ever? Clearly, this would be a monumental step forward for the university. While we’re at it, can we get the hot tub back?

Honorable mention

- Bring back the old lighting in Hilton

- Stronger elevators so I can jump and not get stuck

- Ban Pepsi

- Fix my god damn shower head at Maple

- Just get rid of Destination Iowa State, no one goes anyway

- More basketballs at Lied

- The hot water and cold water is backwards in my room so they should fix that

- Instead of making more parking lots at Jack Trice build a waterpark