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Iowa Hawkeyes Launch FOOPA (Forgiveness of Offensive Performance Ability)

Iowa City, Iowa

The University of Iowa and the State Board of Regents worked long into the evening following the Saturday afternoon snoozer on the gridiron between the Iowa Hawkeyes and the South Dakota State Jackrabbits. University President Barbara Wilson left the stadium post game and immediately called a meeting of top University Administration and the State Board of Regents to take swift and decisive action.

"I’m pissed" Barbara said, "But what about those guys out on the field? What about the coaches?" "They all have reputations that we need to protect, and the only way people are going to forget and forgive them for this performance ahead of next week’s game against those pesky Cyclones is if we immediately enact FOOPA."

"FOOPA (Forgiveness of Offensive Performance Ability) was put together with haste, but thoughtfulness said Board of Regents President Michael Richards. "To be fair, we followed a lot of the program guidelines of the student loan forgiveness program so that we could move quickly."

The Regents crafted FOOPA to grant mercy and forgiveness to offensive performances that don’t exceed 125 total passing yards and 100 total rushing yards on the day, totals that were not exceeded by the Hawkeye football team against SDSU. Details are still emerging, but the draft viewed by this author shows an extra 10 yards will be added to the totals of all players with a reception or a carry. It also appears that players that are 4 star or higher can earn an extra 10 yards per reception/carry for a total of an extra 20 yards.

"It's times like these that I applaud government" said Hawkeye Coach Kirk Ferentz. "FOOPA immediately takes the pressure off our locker room. The FOOPA adjustment to the offensive performance today puts us right in line with other Big Ten programs and gives us all the momentum for the in-state rivalry game next week."

While the rest of the football coaching stuff was clearly impressed with its first look at FOOPA, the opportunities to leverage this across multiple sports has coach Fran McCaffrey excited too. "Connor would have averaged a triple double in 2021-2022 basketball season had FOOPA been in effect," said Coach McCaffery. "Some of our players don’t actually need FOOPA, but I think we still like the idea of it," coach went on to say.

University Administration and Regents don’t expect to use FOOPA for every game this season but said they haven’t ruled it out. "Ultimately, we aim to reduce our FOOPA over time, but we did leave a few more levers in the FOOPA program that we can pull. Let’s just see how next week goes first," said Wilson.

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