Ladies and gentlemen, basketball is back. Technically it was back on Friday when Iowa State took down the Buffaloes up in the plains of South Dakota. But tonight, after months of anticipation, the Cyclones head back to Ames for some Prohm Cooking (see what I did there?).
The Cyclones' 2015 home opener, or Prohm Opener, features a talented basketball team versus a very not-good team in Chicago State. This (hopefully) should allow coach Prohm to dive deep into his bench and address one of the few question marks surrounding this top-10 team. There is a question, however, that is bigger than the issue of frontcourt depth or scoring production off the bench.
That questions is: What will Steve Prohm's entrance music be? Older fans have fond memories of hearing "Here's Johnny" from the pep band, and all Cyclone fans will forever remember the Mayor's walk-out song "Let It Rock" by Kevin Rudolf. Though Steve Prohm's sideline demeanor hints at an iPod full of smooth jazz and James Taylor, the entrance song is undoubtedly a big decision for our first year head coach.
With that in mind, the WRNL staff decided to help coach out with a few song suggestions...
Name of Song: "The Planets – Mars, the Bringer of War" by Gustav Holst (begin at 4:24)
Why did you choose "Mars, the Bringer of War?" When this song starts blaring over the Hilton Coliseum speakers, you'll know shit's about to get real. As our fearless leader enters the court, this song will set the mood for the man running the Prohman Empire. Intense, driving and regal... The perfect introduction for our Emperor.
Name of Song: "The Might Of Rome" from the Gladiator Soundtrack
Why did you choose "The Might of Rome?" For obvious reasons... Especially if Prohm gets to ride out of the locker room in a chariot.
Name of Song: "Bonfire" by Childish Gambino
Why did you choose "Bonfire?" Let's face it, if cursing isn't even allowed in the locker room, there's not a god damn chance this would ever be used. But in a world where the FCC doesn't exist, Bonfire has it all. Up-tempo, yet still clap-able, and, of course, it already includes a "Cyclone Weather Alert" siren to start. But maybe this is just my Gambino man crush showing.
Name of Song: "Smoke on the Water" by Deep Purple
Why did you choose "Smoke on the Water?" Because just like Randal in Clerks 2, someone needs to stand up and take this song back. Make it a key to Iowa State's future success and associate it with winning and nothing but winning. Once a well established winning record has been associated with this song, a remixed version with Sweet Caroline would be the next logical step.
Name of Song: "Anthem for the Underdog" by 12 Stones
Why did you choose "Anthem for the Underdog?" Give it a listen and then try telling me you're not pumped up for a basketball game/bar fight/cocaine binge. Many of you might recognize it from the greatest movie of our generation, Never Back Down. Where do the main character and his family live for the opening 10 minutes of the movie? Iowa. That's not a coincidence. This song has 479,000 views on YouTube, and I'd conservatively estimate I account for 475,000 of them.
Name of Song: "POWER" by Kanye West
Why did you choose "POWER?" Not only does this song have a sweet intro, but even includes the Cyclones' obligatory pregame siren. It will make Steve Prohm seem like an absolute badass, which goes against his calm sideline demeanor, and will whip the students into a frenzy. CYCLONE... POWER.
Name of Song: "War Pigs" by Black Sabbath
Why did you choose "War Pigs?" The intro is about 50 seconds long and contains a tornado siren, perfect for the camera to be locked into Steve Prohm as he makes his way out of the locker room and through the tunnel. At :52 seconds, the intro/siren cuts out and the song begins with Ozzy Osbourne wailing about going to war. By the time Prohm emerges, it's impossible to not be jacked.
Name of Song: "The Time Is Now (You Can't See Me)" by John Cena
Why did you choose "The Time Is Now (You Can't See Me)?" JOHN CEEEEEEEEENAAAAAAAAAAA! But in all seriousness, John Cena upholds Prohm's mantras of Hustle, Loyalty and Respect, Never Give Up, Win the Day and all that jazz. And who doesn't love that sexy trumpet hook? You've got a short intro, just enough time to start things and build it up while Prohm walks down the tunnel, before he appears courtside right as the trumpet kicks in.
Name of Song: "Blessings" by Big Sean ft. Drake and Kanye West
Why did you choose "Blessings?" Coach Prohm has repeatedly emphasized how #blessed he is to be here and have this opportunity, and let's be real here, we're all just truly #blessed that basketball season has made its triumphant return. Hilton is truly "heaven on earth," our "clique is the tightest, our future the brightest" and really, way up, I feel #blessed to even be able to make this suggestion.
Regardless of what song our fearless leader takes the court to, tonight's game marks the official beginning of the Prohman Empire's rule over the Big 12, in the beautiful Coliseum that is Hilton. Hooray for Cyclone basketball season!